to sum up what I figured out last night:
Wireguard point-to-point links are as easy to set up as the reverse-proxy apps ('frp' and 'rathole') I've used in the past, and likely more reliable, performant, and secure.
I used this guide to set up such a link: https://docs.vultr.com/how-to-install-wireguard-vpn-on-debian-12
I'm going to replace my existing setups with this, and I'm pleased that upon finally taking the time to look into it, #Wireguard proved very simple to use.
as for my claims of its likely superiority:
* more reliable due to more highly proficient eyes on the codebase and a bigger userbase smoking out bugs
* more performant due to less copying bytes to/from userspace
* more secure because one point of Wireguard is to have as small a codebase as possible, and again (being in the kernel in part) it has more smart sets of eyes on it; further, it makes use of existing IP networking security practices.
this is a major step forward for Surfhosting. I had a big mental block on deploying Wireguard for quite a while, and now I'm past it.