i love programming but I dont want to work anymore. Not at that capacity. Whats the point? I slaved away literally obsessing abouy 401k's and retirement so i could one day enjoy life. But I can do that right now! But that enjoyment means not going back to programming.
Giving up the horrendously obscene salaries programmers make to do something that just barely pays the bills but would synergize with my life much better.
I love programming... But the hours and the stress is too much. My body has been mentally fighting me for 15 years (migraines) and now is physically breaking down to prevent me from continuing this path.
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I will most likely have to sell my house in this scenario and go back to paying rent (which would be more than my previous mortgage before the divorce
)
But doing this drastic life change could fundamentally change everything about my trajectory! Cost of living could be made cheap! I could get out from debt! (profit from house sale)
LITERALLY HOMESTEAD! (hybrid. Not full for me. Ps: did you k ow you cant actually unplug completely from capitalism? Mere property taxes will fuck you. Unincorporated maybe?)
I just want out. I want out from all of it. Whats the point of the technological era we find ourselves in if it gives us these fucking shackles. How can we be in the riches god damn nation in the fucking world and have such want amidst such plenty? Forced to continue turning the crank of a broken machine that everyone acknowledgingly hates! (even if they vote against their own self interests, they do so because they feel the oppression and seek solutions).
Idk where in going with this. I'm tired. Tired of all this. For the last 15 years since my migraines started and I would push through to do the capitalism, I would always say to myself as a internal mantra: "living in the woods is always an option". And now im thinking of invoking that option. (not full detachment, but absolute minimizing costs payed to capitalism. Basically I want to retire. Oh hey! Do you have to pay back loans if you dont work? B/c they'd bave nothing to garnish! XD. Ofc I wouldbt 'do that' though :p)