Broadwaybabyto<p>A number of years ago I had an emergency that saw me land in the ER on Christmas Eve. </p><p>I remember struggling to think of literally anyone I could call to come be with me. </p><p>After all, people barely show up for us on normal days. Would anyone show up at Christmas?<br>🧵</p><p>It’s hard to be chronically ill at the holidays. Let’s be honest - it’s hard year round. </p><p>People are constantly treating us like burdens or they’re ignoring us altogether. </p><p>We spend a ridiculous amount of spoons fending off unhelpful & unsolicited advice</p><p>We’re always in pain, always exhausted and always sick. It’s hard to enjoy yourself when your entire existence is suffering - so holidays meant to be “joyful” can be bittersweet.</p><p>People expect us to push for their benefit. Put on a happy face. Deliver a convincing “I’m fine” </p><p>Nowhere is this more true than at the holidays. </p><p>If you’re newly chronically ill you may find that family and friends are uncomfortable around you. They don’t like being reminded of sickness - they see it as interfering with their joy. </p><p>They want you to participate in the holidays the way you used to - and they’re often not great at hiding their disappointment when you can’t. </p><p>Your disappointment rarely factors in. You just need to “try harder”. </p><p>It wears on a person. </p><p>If you’ve been chronically ill for awhile - you will no doubt have noticed that you get less calls, texts and cards. You’re slowly being disappeared. Annexed from people’s lives - especially at the holidays. </p><p>Can’t have that pesky reminder of disability and human frailty! </p><p>If you land in the hospital - it can compound the feelings of isolation and loneliness. I know it does for me. </p><p>No one shoukd be alone in the ER. We all need and deserve an advocate. </p><p>But who can you call at Christmas? </p><p>When you spend most of the year being treated as a nuisance, being told that you probably could get better if you really wanted to, that you don’t “look that sick” etc… will you be comfortable enough to risk rejection when you’re extra vulnerable at the holidays? </p><p>I know I wasn’t. The idea of reaching out to someone during a medical emergency only to have them chide me for interrupting their holidays was too much to bear. So I went through it alone. </p><p>Don’t get me wrong - the doctors and nurses were incredible. I think some of the kindest people volunteer to staff the ER at Christmas - as I’ve always found a caring person and a hand to hold during those difficult times. </p><p>Its not the same as having friends or family though.</p><p>That Christmas Eve - as I lay on a hospital gurney in terrible pain wondering if I would make it home to my bed by Christmas Day - I thought about how many of us spend the holidays alone. I thought about WHY people are so quick to forget us. </p><p>I reached out to others via social media. I expressed my sadness and disappointment and asked for support. </p><p>I got tons of heartfelt comments, messages of solidarity, cute GIFs and photos of cuddly animals. </p><p>I wasn’t alone anymore. </p><p>Something incredible happened. By asking for help and leveraging an online community of people who understood what I was going through - I found more love and support than I could ever imagine. </p><p>I even had a small Christmas miracle. </p><p>My posts were seen by someone within the theatre community which I was an active part of before becoming so sick. </p><p>This person left their Christmas party and came to the ER. They kept me company and gave me a ride home. </p><p>They came back the next day with a homemade meal </p><p>Suddenly I didn’t feel like a burden. I felt seen, valued and cherished. I felt wondrous amazement. I didn’t ask them to do it - they simply stepped up for someone in need. </p><p>Imagine if more people did that? </p><p>Their act of kindness coupled with the love and support I found online made that ER Christmas one of my most cherished memories - even in spite of all the pain and suffering. </p><p>I share this story to remind others than no one is ever truly alone </p><p>We may get let down a LOT … but we also rally together as a community more fiercely than most will ever know. </p><p>We share mutual aid, we hold zoom calls, we help keep each other fed and housed. </p><p>We show up. </p><p>My Chronic Illness Christmas article dives into feelings of loneliness, guilt and gaslighting that many of us deal with at the holidays.</p><p>It has tips for friends and family to help make it an inclusive and safe holiday. </p><p>I hope it also includes some hope and helps someone remember they’re not alone.</p><p><a href="https://www.disabledginger.com/p/a-chronic-illness-christmas" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://www.</span><span class="ellipsis">disabledginger.com/p/a-chronic</span><span class="invisible">-illness-christmas</span></a></p><p><a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/christmas" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>christmas</span></a> <a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/holidays" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>holidays</span></a> <a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/hospital" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>hospital</span></a> <a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/disability" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>disability</span></a> <a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/ableism" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>ableism</span></a> <a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/kindness" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>kindness</span></a> <a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/randomactsofkindness" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>randomactsofkindness</span></a> <br><a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/chronicillness" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>chronicillness</span></a> <a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/longcovid" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>longcovid</span></a> <a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/mecfs" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>mecfs</span></a> <a href="https://zeroes.ca/tags/disabilityrights" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>disabilityrights</span></a></p>