The XKCD Bot @xkcd@mastodon.xyz

I also have an utterance. Less of an utterance and more of an incantation. Less of an incantation and more of a malediction. Less of a malediction and more of a Word of Power. Less of a Word of Power and more of an Unforgivable Curse.
https://xkcd.com/2191/

After the test, she said that if she had a choice, she wouldn’t defend herself against drones using a tennis ball and racket, though she would absolutely pick them over other sports equipment. But, she added, "Drones don't bother me."
https://xkcd.com/2190/

Ok, how many coins for a cinnamon roll?
https://xkcd.com/2189/

Obviously battery technology and prices have driven a lot of the scooter explosion, but I feel like Dean Kamen must be at least a little grumpy about how much people laughed at the idea of the Segway.
https://xkcd.com/2188/

Ok, well, we'll be sure to pay you sometime soon, geologically speaking.
https://xkcd.com/2187/

To detect dark matter, we just need to build a bird feeder that spins two squirrels around the rim in opposite directions at relativistic speeds and collides them together.
https://xkcd.com/2186/

This comic won't exist in the archives. NOTHING IS REAL.
https://xkcd.com/2185/

I wasn't a big fan of 3 or Salvation, so I'm trying to resist getting my hopes up too much for Dark Fate, but it's hard. I'm just a sucker for humans and robots traveling through time to try to drive trucks into each other, apparently.
https://xkcd.com/2184/

Someone's probably working on an eBook app where, if you stop reading right before some plot twist happens, the app will wait a while and then send you a breaking news alert about what's happening, prompting you to open it and read the next few pages to learn more.
https://xkcd.com/2183/

[after typing 1,500 words on feathered dinosaurs, paleontology, sexism, lava, and dinosaurs as animals rather than movie monsters] Sorry to cut it short, I'm on my phone. When I'm back at a keyboard, I can give you another 5,000 words.
https://xkcd.com/2182/

Rome's declaration of war against Carthage was sent from a no-reply address, so Hannibal had to cross the Alps to deliver his "UNSUBSCRIBE" response in person.
https://xkcd.com/2181/

My brother once asked me if there was a function to produce a calendar grid from a list of dates in Google Sheets. I replied with a single-cell formula that took in a list of dates and outputted a calendar. It used SEQUENCE(), REGEXMATCH(), and a double-nested ARRAYFORMULA(), and it locked up the browser for 15 seconds every time it ran. I think he learned a lot about asking me things.
https://xkcd.com/2180/

Kind of rude of them to simultaneously issue an EVACUATION - IMMEDIATE alert, a SHELTER IN PLACE alert, and a 911 TELEPHONE OUTAGE alert.
https://xkcd.com/2179/

"Wait, we've MOVED since 2010. How on Earth did--" "Look, some of us were just born to be champions."
https://xkcd.com/2178/

"Mostly it means that I'm acutely aware that the kid one table over coughed as the server walked past with our food."
https://xkcd.com/2177/

If only somebody had warned them that the world would roll them like this.
https://xkcd.com/2176/

When Salvador Dalí died, it took months to get all the flagpoles sufficiently melted.
https://xkcd.com/2175/

Psychology researchers say our 'flashbulb' memories of big events can be unreliable, but I clearly remember watching live on CNN as Challenger crashed into and destroyed the Berlin Wall.
https://xkcd.com/2174/

It also works for anything you teach someone else to do. "Oh yeah, I trained a pair of neural nets, Emily and Kevin, to respond to support tickets."
https://xkcd.com/2173/

The Antikythera mechanism had a whole set of gears specifically to track the cyclic popularity of skinny jeans and low-rise waists.
https://xkcd.com/2172/