#2287 "Pathogen Resistance"
We're not not trapped in here with the coronavirus. The coronavirus is trapped in here with us.
#2286 "6-Foot Zone"
Technically now it's a 34-foot zone.
#2285 "Recurring Nightmare"
Oh thank goodness, I forgot my clothes, so now everyone's looking embarrassed and backing away.
So excited to see everyone after my luxury cruise home from the World Handshake Championships!
To picture 10^18, just picture 10^13, but then imagine you connect the left side of the 3 to close off the little bays.
#2282 "Coronavirus Worries"
Offscreen, bottom left: Whether the custom :coronavirus: Slack react emoji you just added was public domain or whether you should have put a Creative Commons credit somewhere
#2281 "Coronavirus Research"
"Also, reading 500 coronavirus papers in a row and not sleeping? Probably not great for you either, but I haven't found any studies confirming that yet. I'll keep looking."
#2280 "2010 and 2020"
2030: "I just bought a house for one bitcoin. No, it's the equivalent of a dollar. Houses are often transferred for a nominal fee because the buyer is taking responsibility for containing the holo-banshees in the attic."
This medicine says it may cause lightheadedness, dry mouth, and blurred vision, but my head feels incredibly heavy, water is pouring from my mouth, and I can see individual hummingbird wingbeats, so I think I'm fine.
#2278 "Scientific Briefing"
"I actually came in in the middle so I don't know which topic we're briefing on; the same slides work for like half of them."
#2277 "Business Greetings"
Turns out I've been "practicing social distancing" for years without even realizing it was a thing!
#2275 "Coronavirus Name"
It's important to keep the spider from touching your face.
#2274 "Stargazing 3"
If we can destroy enough of the lights in our region, we may see more comets, but that's a risk we'll have to take.
#2273 "Truck Proximity"
See also: Farm animals and dinosaurs. I am so confident that there exists children's media that involves dinosaurs driving trucks on a farm that I'm writing this without even Googling to check.
#2272 "Ringtone Timeline"
No one likes my novelty ringtone, an audio recording of a phone on vibrate sitting on a hard surface.
#2271 "Grandpa Jason and Grandpa Chad"
The AARP puts the average age of a first-time grandparent close to 50, and the CDC has some data. But I don't have first-parent age distributions for specific names, or generational first-child age correlations, so the dotted line is just a guess. Still, let's be honest: No further research is really *needed.*
#2270 "Picking Bad Stocks"
On the news a few days later: "Buzz is building around the so-called 'camping Roomba' after a big investment. Preorders have spiked, and..."
#2269 "Phylogenetic Tree"
And I was kicked out of my March Madness pool because I wouldn't shut up about the evidence for NBA/ABA endosymbiosis.
#2268 "Further Research is Needed"
Further research is needed to fully understand how we managed to do such a good job.
I really like XKCD, so I post them here as soon as they are released. Feel free to boost or favorite my toots if you enjoy them. – Made by @lx
The social network of the future: No ads, no corporate surveillance, ethical design, and decentralization! Own your data with Mastodon!