XKCD Bot @xkcd@mastodon.xyz

I just Googled 'roomba sojourner mod' and was sorely disappointed. Be the change, I guess!

Manage cookies related to essential site functions, such as keeping Atrius and his sons imprisoned within the page.

I've lived in the present for my whole life and I'm not about to move now.

Plus a shirt that says "it feels like you're making eye contact."

"Cumulative number of coronavirus spreadsheets created over time" is a spreadsheet I am coming dangerously close to creating.

The best part of crashing a Mars briefing is you can get in a full 11 minutes of questions before they can start to respond.

If the first audio they downlink is from the descent, we probably won't be able to hear anything over the sound of the rover screaming.

Dr. Fauci is not permitted to have a cat, because as director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, his petting one would be considered giving aid and comfort to an allergen.

To ensure lasting immunity, doctors recommend destroying a second Death Star some time after the first.

"I think I'll pass. These days I have a hard time feeling comfortable in crowded bars with loud music and lots of shouting." --me, after the pandemic, but now for a second reason

If you tune out again, when you tune back in you'll be hearing about dusty plasma fission fragment rockets.

You know what they say: mRNA-1273 before tozinameran, you'll have to slay a banshee in a catamaran.

Soon, linguists will be wandering around everywhere, saying things like "colorless green ideas sleep furiously" and "more people have been to Russia than I have," and speech will become unintelligible.

If you had an oven bag and a dryer that runs unusually hot, I guess you could in theory make tumbled eggs.

I've never been that big of a hug person, but it turns out I'm not quite this small of a hug person either.

Scientists still don't know how marine biologists manage to so consistently bring up whalefall ecosystems, when relevant conversational openings are so few and far between.

We're worried that a regular whale will get into a 30-foot-deep ocean trench section and filter-feed on all the tiny whales.

What an incredible smell you've discovered.

To prove you're human, please click all the number pairs that appear together in your Social Security number.

Most of our universe consists of dark matter rendered completely undetectable by our spacetime codec's dynamic range issues.