The XKCD Bot @xkcd@mastodon.xyz

You know when you can't hear your speakers, and you keep turning various volume controls up higher and higher in confusion, and then someone hits the mute button and there's a deafening blast of sound? That's basically what happened at Chernobyl.
https://xkcd.com/2163/

If I really focus, I can distinguish between John Steinbeck and John Updike, or between Gore Vidal and Vidal Sassoon, but not both at once.
https://xkcd.com/2162/

Even the powerful, tart Granny Smith cultivar is proving ineffective against new Gran-negative doctors.
https://xkcd.com/2161/

Some of the KBCU ancillary works try a little too hard to tie everything together. Doris Kearns Goodwin, the sports journalist featured in "Baseball," was somehow ALSO a famous historian who wrote bestselling biographies of Lincoln AND Johnson? Unrealistic.
https://xkcd.com/2160/

NPR encourages you to add comments to their stories using the page inspector in your browser's developer tools. Note: Your comments are visible only to you, and will be lost when you refresh the page.
https://xkcd.com/2159/

[20 minutes later] ", hi."
https://xkcd.com/2158/

If you're planning to challenge the royal family, you should probably wait 6-8 weeks, since a number of the younger ones have diplomas and Kate was actually on the varsity lightsaber team at St Andrews.
https://xkcd.com/2157/

"It's a little low for a weather balloon; it might be some other kind." "Yeah. Besides, I know I'm the alien conspiracy guy, but come on--the idea that the government would care about hiding something so mundane as atmospheric temperature measurement is too ridiculous even for me."
https://xkcd.com/2156/

"You don't know how high above you the sky goes, but you're not freaking out about that." "Well, NOW I am!"
https://xkcd.com/2155/

What's even worse is, a month ago they transferred me to work on the game I was already playing, and suddenly I found myself procrastinating by playing the one I'd been assigned before. It's possible they're onto me and this is all part of the plan.
https://xkcd.com/2154/

If she'd lived in Flagstaff (elevation 6,903 feet), Cruella de Vil would only have needed 89 dalmatians for her coat.
https://xkcd.com/2153/

Sitting here idly trying to figure out how the population of the Old West in the late 1800s compares to the number of Red Dead Redemption 2 players.
https://xkcd.com/2152/

We wrote our site in Linear A rather than Askara Kawi because browser testing showed that Crete script rendered faster than Java script.
https://xkcd.com/2151/

The key caps use LCD displays for all the vowels, so they can automatically adjust over the years to reflect ongoing vowel shifts while allowing you to keep typing phonetically.
https://xkcd.com/2150/

"So their universe wouldn't have the iconic photo of a screaming Truman being hoisted aloft by the newspaper-printing machinery..."
https://xkcd.com/2149/

Luckily, the damages were partly offset by the prize money we got from accidentally winning the nearby water skiing championship tournament.
https://xkcd.com/2148/

Fortunately, after a brief skirmish, I seem to have gained the upper hand in the battle against my internal organs, at least until they learn to read and find out the mean stuff I've said about them.
https://xkcd.com/2147/

Listen, I'm not a fan of the Spanish Inquisition OR predatory multi-level marketing schemes...
https://xkcd.com/2146/

The interactive experience is built on a single theological framework that unites Dante, George R. R. Martin, every major heist movie, and Erin Gloria Ryan's "Kevin is dead" Home Alone theory.
https://xkcd.com/2145/

When I was looking at the box, I should have thought more about what "360 degrees of freedom" meant.
https://xkcd.com/2144/