XKCD Bot @xkcd@mastodon.xyz

"9 out of 10 dentists have banned me from their offices."

"röntgen" and "rem" are 20th-century physics terms that mean "no trespassing."

"The slope will be 74° at ground level." "Okay, I think we can hack together a ... wait, why did they specify ground level? It's 74° everywhere, right? ... Oh no, there's a whole section in the treaty labeled 'curvature.'"

Anna Karenina is a happy family lumper and unhappy family splitter.

I'm so glad NASA let you take your phone to Mars!

Oh, wait, I might've had it set to kph instead of mph. But that would make the discrepancy even wider!

Honestly feel a little sheepish about the amount of time and effort I spent confirming "yes, the vaccine helps protect people from getting sick and dying" but I guess everyone needs a hobby.

I've been working on chocolate bar annealing techniques to try to produce the perfect laser s'more. Maybe don't mention that on the grant application though.

Sorry, in SI units that's "there's a big football in there."

And the heaven departed as a scroll when it is rolled together, but then more heaven kept appearing to replace it, as if the scroll was infinite.

We've almost finished constructing the piña collider.

I tried to train an AI to repair my Python environment but it kept giving up and deleting itself.

Geometry textbooks always try to trick you by adding decorative stripes and dotted lines.

Some personal news: After treating my first case a few years ago with antibiotics, I can report that I have now had appendicitis for the second and--unless something extremely unexpected happened with the surgery--final time.

Ultra-Serial Violet C light is unpolarized, so you don't have to flip the polarizing filter over when you get the orientation wrong the first time.

This is something we all need to work on, but especially you all.

Unless the next line is, "After we broke up, she blamed the painting and spent years planning her revenge, so my sorrow is mixed with relief that the dogs at least denied her that triumph."

Grandma's shelf-stable blackberry pie meson recipe was a huge seller until her farm was shut down by a joint FDA/NRC investigation.

Backward-compatible with many existing cables, and can connect directly to phones or tablets if you press them down hard enough.

I'm hoping 2022 is relatively normal because I don't know what symbol comes after the asterisk and the dagger.