your friend @MrJimmy@mastodon.xyz

if you read too fast you get fiction burns

The worst insult I can currently imagine: you have the emotional intelligence of a relatively woke cis, straight man

I love when it's cold enough that she lays on me 😻

Pls tell @​gattogateaux@​animal.church to get me again

@taweret It's a big hat, it's funny

wearing a giant foam cowboy hat and refusing to ever take it off in front of anyone. this is the way

If you're snuggling a cutie and she asks for permission to read write your contacts photos files gps microphone camera that's not your girlfriend that's Facebook Messenger

@MrJimmy if I'm not on trial, explain why I get escorted to the posting chamber in manacles each day, to post in front of a stern authority figure and a diverse group of ordinary people

Lou wanted me to watch

a friend approacheth

me with the windex at work today

drugstore olive garden gift card

yeah I support LGBTQ

Landlords
Gamers
Bankers
Troops
the Queen

Love to make posts on mast of dawn 🦊

i have this theory that all my friends from the internet also exist in real life