bitter about twitter @CoughingSound@mastodon.xyz

An unexplored angle on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is that Willy Wonka is clearly a genius, the finest scientific mind of his generation, yet he focuses almost all of his efforts on manufacturing candy.
The temptation of big profits in the multimillion dollar candy-sector under the candy-capitalist system has drawn him away from more worthwhile pursuits and possibly corrupted him into the weird, weird dude that he is

Mr Loggins, if you have intel relating to a so-called "Danger Zone" which could pose a threat to the safety of American citizens it is your duty to disclose its precise coordinates to this subcommittee

If I was Scott Adams it would really piss me off that not many people seem to be naming their children "Dilbert"

The reason airlines don't let you into the cockpit is because they're afraid you'll catch the pilot smoking all those cigarettes they told you you weren't allowed to smoke

Me, inevitably, whenever someone is even slightly nice to me

Christopher Balkan Islands

If you want to create some x-rated fanart of any of the vivid characters featured in my toots (Italian Poirot, Drunk-And-Emotional Scott Adams, Marxist Rodney Dangerfield etc) please, feel free!

🎵 Guess who just got back today?
(my wife's boyfriend) 🎵

Hastily deleting my reply calling someone out for deleting and redrafting to fix a typo after noticing I wrote "I sqw thaf"

Perverts 🤝 Public Speakers

Imagining people
in their underpants

People on Mastodon:
So then I thought, why not simply reroute all the bit traffic through a http endpoint, using an elastic haplotype to mop up the stray x-content streams? Simple!

Me:
I had the idea to put "import datetime" at the start of my python script, so now my functions can tell what time it is!

John le Carré novels seem to describe a lot of characters as "the sort of man for whom x was y" with no elaboration. I have never once recognised these archetypes. Do these sorts of men exist? Is he just inventing new types of guys out of whole cloth?

You wouldn't steal a car
You wouldn't steal a glance at your crush when they walk past your desk on their way to the bathroom

The year is 2034
It is a time of war
The #asscommunity has been forced underground, but there is still hope