Pinned toot
Das-Hardman  

Mr Loggins, if you have intel relating to a so-called "Danger Zone" which could pose a threat to the safety of American citizens it is your duty to disclose its precise coordinates to this subcommittee

0
Pinned toot
Das-Hardman  

If I was Scott Adams it would really piss me off that not many people seem to be naming their children "Dilbert"

1+
Pinned toot
Das-Hardman  

The reason airlines don't let you into the cockpit is because they're afraid you'll catch the pilot smoking all those cigarettes they told you you weren't allowed to smoke

1+
Pinned toot
Das-Hardman  

Please, folks, I need you to boost as many of my toots as your operating system allows.
I'm on a mission.
A holy mission.
I need a platform from which to ask as many people as possible if they've seen a fan remake of the plane hijack scene from the Dark Knight Rises in which they couldn't afford to use an actual plane (or were perhaps too lazy to acquire one) and instead used a car.

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Pinned toot
Das-Hardman  

Me, inevitably, whenever someone is even slightly nice to me

0
Das-Hardman boosted
eugenes beast friond  

Gwyneth Paltrow in a poorly lit backstreet lobbing a copy of her online magazine high in the air for a friend to grab

thats an alley goop

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Das-Hardman  

I'm the

0
Das-Hardman  

Lewd, BDSM (?) 

0
Das-Hardman boosted
snake boy 🐍  

Shitting on company time, on the company floor

1
Das-Hardman  

*chuckles softly*
Why yes, I suppose that is the sound of the police

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Das-Hardman boosted
wife, leftist, podcaster  

kim plausible

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Das-Hardman boosted
Dipshit Official  

@CoughingSound If you want to truly hate a computer, learn to code.

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Das-Hardman  

What's that word, you know the one 

0
Das-Hardman boosted
Das-Hardman  

sext: I give you a haircut and as I do so the comb occasionally passes over that one spot at the top of your head that's really itchy

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Das-Hardman boosted
Das-Hardman  

I've stanned all I can stan and I can't stan no more ~ Popeye, after a long day of being Extremely Online

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Das-Hardman boosted
Das-Hardman  

"So, I did a thing" ~ God, announcing that he has summoned the Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse

0
Das-Hardman boosted
Das-Hardman  

When will Ray William Johnson return from the war?

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Das-Hardman boosted
alex  

thinking about getting the lads together to go around saying things like "waaay" and "ey ey ey!"

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Das-Hardman boosted
Das-Hardman  

So there I was, sitting down to what I believed to be a free lunch, boy was I surprised!

0
Das-Hardman boosted
Das-Hardman  

Laughing my ass off? In this economy?

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Das-Hardman boosted
Das-Hardman  

Logging Off (gone wrong/gone sexual)

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Das-Hardman boosted
Das-Hardman  

Being "good at the computer" only gives the computer more ways to hurt you

1
Das-Hardman boosted
Das-Hardman  

It's a beautiful day so Eugen said we could have mastodon outside today!
Yaayyy!

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Das-Hardman boosted
Das-Hardman  

I may be a Hardcore Gamer but I still put my trousers on one QTE at a time

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Das-Hardman boosted
Das-Hardman  

🎶 What is love?
Baby don't own me
Don't own me
On line 🎶

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Mastodon

Generalistic and moderated instance. All opinions are welcome, but hate speeches are prohibited. Users who don't respect rules will be silenced or suspended, depending on the violation severity.

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