Frodo Logins - sysadmin @CoughingSound@mastodon.xyz

Schrödinger's Boys are considered both back and not back in town

An unexplored angle on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is that Willy Wonka is clearly a genius, the finest scientific mind of his generation, yet he focuses almost all of his efforts on manufacturing candy.
The temptation of big profits in the multimillion dollar candy-sector under the candy-capitalist system has drawn him away from more worthwhile pursuits and possibly corrupted him into the weird, weird dude that he is

Mr Loggins, if you have intel relating to a so-called "Danger Zone" which could pose a threat to the safety of American citizens it is your duty to disclose its precise coordinates to this subcommittee

If I was Scott Adams it would really piss me off that not many people seem to be naming their children "Dilbert"

The reason airlines don't let you into the cockpit is because they're afraid you'll catch the pilot smoking all those cigarettes they told you you weren't allowed to smoke

When's the new folksy aphorism dropping?

Power-sliding into your DMs like "Wahooo! I'm-a-gonna win!"

"It was a giant white dragon, ferocious, I'm lucky to-"
"Yeah, that's cool, but bro, what colour were it's eyes?"
"Uh, blue, I think, I mean I wasn't really-"
"Wow, dude, that's crazy, a white dragon and its eyes are fucking blue?! Bro, that's so messed up, wow"

"Oh no, I'd never eat anything artificial, perish the thought"
Fuck you, you think you're "too good" to chow down on a delicious porygon like the rest of us?

Mario 64 (1996): So long gay Bowser!
Bowser's Fury (2021): Fuck off gay Bowser! I'm in the middle of something gay Bowser. Can you fucking leave me alone for two fucking minutes gay Bowser?

Kenny Rogers, loser, traded the last of his whiskey and a cigarette for some advice. One of the worst deals we've ever had! Here's some advice Kenny, ask for a better deal!

Take me out coach! You know I'm not ready!

Will Smith CONFIRMS that he WILL be returning as the character of JOHN HANCOCK from HANCOCK (2008) in SUPER SMASH BROTHERS - Long-rumoured Jason Bateman assist trophy remains unconfirmed

The Fool from Shakespeare's King Lear was the original crazy ass white boy, but over the course of the play Lear learned to appreciate his wisdom and insights

Everytime I see the Flat Iron Building or indeed any other disgustingly triangular building I pray for the souls of the heretic architects who designed it. May they not drag the rest of us into their spiritual malaise.

I like to imagine Paulie Gaultieri does the index and little finger thing when he's typing on his computer

Squinting washing-up liquid onto a dirty plate with the style and panache of a master chef splashing olive oil onto a salad

Folks, I've made a deal with my heavenly father. I'll die and go to heaven, and in exchange you will all be absolved of Original Sin, now and forever. People are saying it's one of the best deals we've ever had. People are going to write books about it! A New (BETTER!) Testament!

Rise and grind gamers, let's check some emails

What is holding a sword against this guy's neck supposed to accomplish?

Welcome to Tokyo-3 47, your target is a military commander named Gendo Ikari

I have information that will lead to the arrest of the Windows Setup Wizard