Gore 2000 💫 @CoughingSound@mastodon.xyz

Mr Loggins, if you have intel relating to a so-called "Danger Zone" which could pose a threat to the safety of American citizens it is your duty to disclose its precise coordinates to this subcommittee

If I was Scott Adams it would really piss me off that not many people seem to be naming their children "Dilbert"

The reason airlines don't let you into the cockpit is because they're afraid you'll catch the pilot smoking all those cigarettes they told you you weren't allowed to smoke

Please, folks, I need you to boost as many of my toots as your operating system allows.
I'm on a mission.
A holy mission.
I need a platform from which to ask as many people as possible if they've seen a fan remake of the plane hijack scene from the Dark Knight Rises in which they couldn't afford to use an actual plane (or were perhaps too lazy to acquire one) and instead used a car.

Me, inevitably, whenever someone is even slightly nice to me

I'm waiting for all those sailors to go on shore leave so we can see all the really good posts they've been thinking of while they're in those submarines

Not saying this place has warped my brain or anything, but earlier I saw someone misspell "jealous" as "healous" and my brain immediately thought "yes, healous, this must be a Healyn bit of some kind, to be jealous of Healyn or to experience jealousy in a very Healyn way perhaps"

Still so glad to be on Mastodon, the only website on the internet that allows naked images and further-huh?
What? Really? I see.
Folks, something very interesting has been brought to my attention, very interesting indeed. Excuse me.

Rejected Drake and Josh theme song number 3

🎶 If you wanna be my brother,
Yer ma's gotta get with my dad 🎶