Pinned toot

Mr Loggins, if you have intel relating to a so-called "Danger Zone" which could pose a threat to the safety of American citizens it is your duty to disclose its precise coordinates to this subcommittee

Pinned toot

If I was Scott Adams it would really piss me off that not many people seem to be naming their children "Dilbert"

Pinned toot

The reason airlines don't let you into the cockpit is because they're afraid you'll catch the pilot smoking all those cigarettes they told you you weren't allowed to smoke

Pinned toot

Please, folks, I need you to boost as many of my toots as your operating system allows.
I'm on a mission.
A holy mission.
I need a platform from which to ask as many people as possible if they've seen a fan remake of the plane hijack scene from the Dark Knight Rises in which they couldn't afford to use an actual plane (or were perhaps too lazy to acquire one) and instead used a car.

Pinned toot

Me, inevitably, whenever someone is even slightly nice to me

every easter my cousins would smash easter eggs over my head and that’s why I’m like this

Mueller Report, Game Of Thrones, Avengers, Star Wars trailer -> this month on online, whatever you're into, there's a Discourse for that

deploying hellthread depth charges against the subtoot armada

fave this and to be honest I'll probably fall asleep in the next few minutes, I'm very tired

Alcohol Show more

To the person who replied with an outrageously hornt response to one of my posts a few months ago Show more

Alcohol Show more

If I had some chickens I would simply wait until they hatch before counting them

Ahhh, fucked it, redraft, this is actually bad advice, shit, fuck

If I had some chickens I would simply not wait until they hatch before counting them

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