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ive mentioned a few times before that awhile back i explored irl social transition in a serious way and eventually came to understand that i am a cis woman. the weird thing is i dont feel like it was a waste of time, i feel like i worked hard and the reward i got out of it was a profound sense of certainty and ease of self. i never had been before but now im proud to be a woman. i mean i earned it. wish i got a certificate to hang next to my bacherlor's. or a ribbon. trophy? a sticker at least
this is why "they might be making a mistake" is a bullshit reason to create barriers to transition. like yes they might be making a mistake, at which time they will stop? like???
omg a hit toot
watch my dumb opera bullshit https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLnvSyiLebJCdSlUA_QS7eHJNLixOj44vR&si=2J3oCHnBD9D3o5zB
It's never a waste of time, dear. We should encourage people to explore gender as seriously or not as they want. Go on a little gender tourism trip, why not? Or take a gender sabbatical. Most of us gender deviants are here to be guides, not gatekeepers.
@Xibanya maybe a t-shirt reading "I explored my gender and all I got was this t-shirt (and a profound sense of ease)"? 
@SallyStrange @OctaviaConAmore @Xibanya I would totally buy that.
@Xibanya it’s such a good and important thing to think about, and nobody trains us how to do it! my fav kind of cis folks did it anyway and now *know so much.*
anyway, in my capacity as an Official Tran: 
️
@mxsparks u haev made my dreams come tru
It wouldn't be an issue if we encouraged and naturalized experimenting.
@Xibanya we gotta ban stoves. What if someone accidentally puts their hand on a hot stove and then just keeps it there. Just screaming in pain but they don't take it off. Like what if it was trendy to do that
@Xibanya For me, it's more that yes they might. And they might only realize late in the process. Or change their minds later.
Irrelevant.
Regret and changed minds are part of life. At all stages of life. So is living with permanent consequences, many having to at a young age.
Irrelevant.
Trying to save people from themselves is a kind of oppression. It is an exercise of domination, however benevolent the stated intent. It is an abridgement of the natural liberty that ought to be everyones birthright.
And exercises of bodily autonomy and self-makimg are ones that cannot be abridged or conditioned without ensuring their eventual denial to all. They must be absolute or they will not be at all.
This is an area where any amount of utilitarianism or consequentialism will only do harm.
@Xibanya I mean, nose jobs have a big regret rate but we'd rightly oppose banning them.
@Xibanya i didn’t go quite so far but had kind of the same experience with my own exploration. I keep saying that the correct number of detransitions is not zero
@Xibanya love this! I appreciate those that explore and come to understand themselves as cis anyway so much! It’s powerful to know yourself and understand more about who you are and how you want to be in the world, wherever that leads you. 
And if it makes you feel any better, they didn’t give me a certificate for being a woman despite it also taking a lot of work to get here. 
My bestie is in the process of “detransitioning” back to being a woman kind of….but they describe it as being more like another transition, and we’ve bonded yet more over our now shared experiences with me as a trans woman, like estrogen HRT and the like. It’s pretty cool stuff!!!
@Xibanya Yeah, it's so weird how people are scared of other people trying out gender identities to see if they fit. Wasn't "walking a mile in someone else's shoes" considered a good thing?
Like that... what was it? Quarter of Gen Z that identifies as queer? I fully expect some of them to figure out that they aren't, but they'll still have made so many great experiences that will stay with them for the rest of their lives.
@Teskariel once i was dealing with a realistic packer and a zipper situation i gained a whole new understanding of half of humanity. life lessons right there
@Xibanya @Teskariel I mean, that's generally only a problem for commandos. 
@jima @Teskariel long story short i had a packer that I would hold in place using briefs with a front pocket rather than a proper-ass harness, and everything had to be set back in place after every time I went to the bathroom which led to opportunities for mishap
@Xibanya @Teskariel Oh, I understood the context; in my experience, it's just not a substantial risk for that ~half the population unless one foregoes the fabric barrier which will usually be the thing the zipper catches on. (Barring thin fabrics which don't mitigate the risk, I suppose? 
)
If one goes commando...well, they take their chances. 
@jima @Teskariel it was less that specific type of disaster but the realization that, just like as a boob-haver one gets used to slightly different actions to avoid mishap, dick-havers also get used to slightly different ways of existing to avoid mishap in that regard as well
example of extremely common boob mishap: boob on doorframe collision
@Xibanya @Teskariel I've had the misfortune of that one a little bit, so I can understand!
Other boob-related mishaps, less so. 
@Xibanya absolutely what I was thinking with this toot
https://eldritch.cafe/@Tattie/113554840707930929
@Xibanya I hope this isn't inappropriate, but as a trans guy I'm grateful that you took the time to do this! Normalizing gender exploration for cis people, helps trans people so much. It makes what we are just one of the answers of a normal question -- not the weird outcome of a mystifying process. I'm glad you found certainty and it definitely should come with pride...and stickers. Really. Stickers rule.
@erosdiscordia u gucci, and I agree; it feels good that I'm not this gender because someone else handed it to me but because I made an active decision to choose it
@Xibanya One of the best gender feelings out there. 
@Xibanya @erosdiscordia amazing that you get to have that feeling too! ^_^
@Xibanya This doesn't seem weird to me at all!
I think the kind of gender introspection that is so far only typical for trans people is good for cis people too. Most of what trans people (self included) mean when we complain about cis people isn't about their being cis, it's about them not having examined their gender at all.
The best cis people I know are the ones who've thought "am I really cis/is this really my gender." It's fine that they've come to answer "yes"! What matters is asking.
@Xibanya Having gone through a lesser endeavor of self-reflection, and come to a similar conclusion (that I am, astonishingly, a cisgender man in tech), I absolutely recommend challenging one's preconceived notions on gender identify and taking a ponder for oneself.
As you hint, it kind of makes you more of a Real Woman
to have made a conscious decision to, well, be a woman. (Just like any other women who have made a conscious decision to be a woman — albeit maybe with less work involved.)
@Xibanya IMO, if one doesn't do that, they're just playing on default settings. 
@jima right??
@Xibanya @Athena Yesss! There is such a difference between just going with whatever you were assigned, and really engaging and exploring gender to find the aspects of your AGAB which really resonate with you and bring you euphoria, the parts that don't, as well as the experiences assumed to be outside your gender which do and don't feel good. Just a massive gulf between cis (assumed, default) and cis (chosen, deliberate).