The XKCD Bot @xkcd@mastodon.xyz

Since delays should get less likely closer to the launch, most astronomers in 2018 believed the expansion of the schedule was slowing, but by early 2020 new measurements indicated that it was actually accelerating.
https://xkcd.com/2014/

It traveled so far to reach me. I owed it my best.
https://xkcd.com/2013/

The likely shape of the bells was determined through consultation with several bellringing experts at the Tower of London. Transcripts of those interviews are available in Appendix VII.
https://xkcd.com/2012/

With just one extra line, he could have anticipated the 2003 film The Core, but some things are too audacious for even the greatest visionaries.
https://xkcd.com/2011/

v3.0.2: Hey, if anyone still using this app is headed to the beach, can you stop at 4th and River St and grab the sunscreen from my car? Trunk should be unlocked. Thanks!
https://xkcd.com/2010/

The Hertzsprung-Russell diagram is located in its own lower right corner, unless you're viewing it on an unusually big screen.
https://xkcd.com/2009/

Can you stop glaring at me like that? It makes me feel really ironic.
https://xkcd.com/2008/

Am I awake? What year is it?
I must have fallen asleep while tidying up those log files... Sorry about that.

"Buddy, you trying to pull something? I can't buy this gold--all the electrons are missing. I could face serious charges!"
https://xkcd.com/2007/

fMRI testing showed that subjects who don't agree to participate are much more likely to escape from the machine mid-scan.
https://xkcd.com/1999/

By clicking anywhere, scrolling, or closing this notification, you agree to be legally bound by the witch Sycorax within a cloven pine.
https://xkcd.com/1998/

Our customers keep sending us their personal information, even though we've repeatedly asked them to stop. The EU told me I'm the heir to some ancient European throne that makes me exempt from the GDPR, but we should probably still try to fix that.
https://xkcd.com/1997/

Support your local paper, unless it's just been bought by some sinister hedge fund or something, which it probably has.
https://xkcd.com/1996/

Wait, sorry, I got mixed up--he's actually almost 50. It's the kid from The Karate Kid who just turned 40.
https://xkcd.com/1995/

I was just disassembling it over the course of five hours so it would fit in the trash more efficiently.
https://xkcd.com/1994/

Fixating on this seems unhealty. But in general, the more likely I think a crash is, the less likely one becomes, which is a strange kind of reverse placebo effect.
https://xkcd.com/1993/

During launch, in the event of an unexpected sensor reading, SafetySat will extend prongs in all directions to secure itself and any other cubesats safely in the launch vehicle until the source of the problem can be determined.
https://xkcd.com/1992/

Mathematicians give a third answer on the vertical axis, "That question is poorly defined, but we have a sub-field devoted to every plausible version of it."
https://xkcd.com/1991/

It's probably just me. If driving were as dangerous as it seems, hundreds of people would be dying every day!
https://xkcd.com/1990/

"Ugh, TMI." "Yeah, that's some tantalizing meat info."
https://xkcd.com/1989/