Pinned toot
Pinned toot

my pronouns aren't in my bio because I radiate pure unadulterated masculinity (obvious) but also because I dont care what any of you call me.

Pinned toot

Follow me over at @tarzanboy if you still want your TL full of mlb talk from me. Gonna try to keep it all over there but no promises.

tarzanman boosted

I'm a free agent now and looking to get drafted by instance that has search

tarzanman boosted

you talk a lotta
big game for someone with such a small cybertruck

tarzanman boosted

'square up, you long ass bitch', i shout as the giant worm rears at me

tarzanman boosted
tarzanman boosted

@wintgenstein just comparing dick sizes and learning about ancient magicks with the bros to get away from our nagging wives.

tarzanman boosted

@EnlightenedFeralBoy lol drake no : helping society
drake yes; weirdo sex rituals with 40 other guys and one woman

tarzanman boosted

Lol I just remembered that my boss is a freemason. He said he doesn't wanna try for the 33rd degree and learn the cool shit though because the service you have to do "is a bitch."

tarzanman boosted

jack and jill is an amazing film to look back on cause it existed both as a film and as a roth ira for adam sandler in which the 30 different corporations he advertises in it gave funds to. also theres a scene where al pacino raps about dunkin donuts

tarzanman boosted

Hey! Europeans!

Why the FUCK do you include that little guy taking a huge SHIT in your Nativity scenes????

European houses are so small.
That whole country is cucked.

tarzanman boosted

How many boosts for respect can we get for my pops, who served our country in time of war

Trying to think of how to embarrass myself next time I score with some chick

tarzanman boosted

Do you know why they call it "Taco Tuesday"? Because it's the day that Tiw (or Týr), the Norse god of combat and justice, would traditionally eat tacos

tarzanman boosted
tarzanman boosted

hitting home run after home run as my baseball bat cracks the sky

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