ＧＥＲＧ @sgoast@mastodon.xyz
rube of what a maneuver's #BSUC. button mash bash founder. #MKEWrestleBuddies. world's least accurate judd hirsch parody. icon by kelleh main.
when the fps you're playing holds a world championship with cosmetic unlockables. https://mastodon.xyz/media/zorZID8HQ5qspSgFUbI
thank you jaden smith for ruining bringing a toblerone to enjoy quietly during your lunch break at work.
run-around (xmas '98 mix) where it's basically the same song, but they added jingle bells through the whole track that get really off beat during the harmonica solo and "this is the pilot speaking" is changed to "this is santa speaking".
the invisible hand of the free market needs to get stuffed in a wood chipper.
i really hope that anyone who uses "frenzy over cat videos" as a reason to dismiss net neutrality concerns has to deal with a doctor who mocks them for complaining about their "achey wakey tum tum" when they get stomach cancer.
today's mood: muttering "i hate this" over and over into an empty soda can and then tossing it to make sure no one looks inside.
Whenever South Park people talk about how people are too easily offended, please remember that they once made a two part episode about how they shouldn't be compared to Family Guy.
tonight seems like a great night to watch the rugrats hanukkah special and repeatedly refresh my phone's browser, hoping that a pedophile didn't get elected to the senate.
a bidding war over who would win spatula city's second headquarters was won by chicago, promising a 0% tax rate and funneled city taxes to the company.
despite the losing bid, the giant spatulas constructed throughout birmingham, alabama were really well received.
spatula city's seven locations have been razed, replaced by miles long fulfillment centers, staffed by underpaid workers tasked with unreasonable productivity demands. ceo cy greenblum has stock condolences letters for the families of workers who die of exhaustion.
in this universe, people have web enabled smart spatulas in their homes to assist w/ basic questions/requests like "what is the world's largest spatula" or "play my pancake flipping playlist". audio recordings pulled from them were recently deemed admissible as evidence in court.
in the alternate universe uhf took place in, spatula city's web presence mirrored amazon's in ours. started selling spatulas online. branched into other kitchen utensils. now people have spatula dash buttons to reorder laundry detergent.
decided to catch a last minute showing of the disaster artist at the oriental. waiting for our theater to open up. god, what a gorgeous building this is. https://mastodon.xyz/media/V1lmuishnwuDEPhOEw4
practice swing at making gingerbread wrestlers again for the holidays. this time: joey ryan. i'll take another swing at this later since i'm not a fan of the all-sparkles cutout.
(keep in mind, this is the one i decided to make for our work holiday display.) https://mastodon.xyz/media/Yao0dbjR6x0DMwdXH28
i'm sure y'all had fun with the game rewards, but i was way too busy getting beaten to death by a pair of eight year old girls in betrayal on haunted hill to deal with that pleeb shit.
i don't know what was worse about al franken's resignation speech, the desperate attempt to portray his actions as something of great valor or his CONSTANT BREATHING INTO THE MICROPHONE JESUS.
youtube rewind: dancing teenagers you've never heard of, three songs you heard at the mall once, inside jokes you're not included in, and one person you recognize who's liked ironically by tweens.
i hope someday soon we can live in a world where terry crews can win person of the year under much happier circumstances.
my spotify year in review is kind of embarassing, so i'll leave it at this: sometimes you just have to listen to magical sound shower on repeat for three days straight.
