In the future only the rich will be able to fuck because it'll require powerful air conditioning to do any kind of strenuous activity
Finally riding on that Coco train.
Holy shit, Hannah Gadsby: Nanette is incredible.
Half-Life 2 is old enough to call me a racial slur over in-game chat
[reading thread on reddit] lots of gun owners in this thread [realizing top commenters have screen names referencing Wehrmacht and white nationalism] uhhhhhhh
Oh good the last Father Brown of the season is here, time for some claptrap about a French thief
in 2019 i hope to learn ableton so that i can make more accurate jokes about ableton
Oh, so there’s a name for viewing digits as people: ordinal-linguistic personification. It’s a type of synesthesia!
Ah Christ who made another pot of fresh hell
Laserdisc joke hah hahhh
The Three Ages of Man
I: Anal Probing Aliens
II: Daddy Drank
III: Dipping Areas
But there are liminal moments between ages as well.
I-II Gradient: any Buddy Cole skit
II-III Discontinuity: Tarzan At Work
the colour of ESPN tuned to a dead sport
I am starting to loathe all social media (but not social media users, I love all of you, you’re all doing your best and make me proud)
ALEX TREBEK: I like to help people.
ME: What is the reason I want this job?
well it all seems to work fine now i've restarted. can't open files on your computer?? restart your computer. why??? computer
PROTEIN!
I don’t know why, after watching Audrey Fleurot in French, I expect her to speak English perfectly.
Actual dialog today: “It only takes one lyin’ fart to turn ‘what’s-her-name’ into ‘the woman who shat herself at the concert.’”
I never really liked Thundercats as a kid, but I did secretly love aping Mumm-Ra’s transformation ritual the way other kids loved swashing a stick around and yelling ”THUNDERCATS, HOOOO!”
Fortunately today I’m a well-adjusted adult who does not entertain occult power fantasies or live a deviant mummy-based lifestyle in my home.