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rickward @rickward@mastodon.xyz

In the future only the rich will be able to fuck because it'll require powerful air conditioning to do any kind of strenuous activity

Holy shit, Hannah Gadsby: Nanette is incredible.

Half-Life 2 is old enough to call me a racial slur over in-game chat

[reading thread on reddit] lots of gun owners in this thread [realizing top commenters have screen names referencing Wehrmacht and white nationalism] uhhhhhhh

Oh good the last Father Brown of the season is here, time for some claptrap about a French thief

in 2019 i hope to learn ableton so that i can make more accurate jokes about ableton

Oh, so there’s a name for viewing digits as people: ordinal-linguistic personification. It’s a type of synesthesia!

Ah Christ who made another pot of fresh hell

The Three Ages of Man

I: Anal Probing Aliens
II: Daddy Drank
III: Dipping Areas

But there are liminal moments between ages as well.

I-II Gradient: any Buddy Cole skit
II-III Discontinuity: Tarzan At Work

the colour of ESPN tuned to a dead sport

I am starting to loathe all social media (but not social media users, I love all of you, you’re all doing your best and make me proud)

#1998 "GDPR" Show more

ALEX TREBEK: I like to help people.
ME: What is the reason I want this job?

well it all seems to work fine now i've restarted. can't open files on your computer?? restart your computer. why??? computer

I don’t know why, after watching Audrey Fleurot in French, I expect her to speak English perfectly.

Actual dialog today: “It only takes one lyin’ fart to turn ‘what’s-her-name’ into ‘the woman who shat herself at the concert.’”

I never really liked Thundercats as a kid, but I did secretly love aping Mumm-Ra’s transformation ritual the way other kids loved swashing a stick around and yelling ”THUNDERCATS, HOOOO!”

Fortunately today I’m a well-adjusted adult who does not entertain occult power fantasies or live a deviant mummy-based lifestyle in my home.