Me: so yeah, my wife likes Tulsi Gabbard. And thank God, you know? It’s *sob* fine *weeps uncontrollably*

Group leader: everyone, let’s thank Rick for sharing himself with us

Group: *uneasy murmurs*

Group leader: I look around this room and I see a lot of courage. And it gives me strength. We give each other strength

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I lean on a fence at the edge of the fediverse and stare into the distance: I remember when all of this was fields

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it is known that facts don't care about your feelings, but did you also know, that feelings dont care about your facts?

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i'm here to chew ass and kick bubblegum and I'm all out of correctly rendered quotations

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i want a girl with a short skirt and a loooooooooooong spaghetti noodle that we each start absent-mindedly eating from opposite ends until eventually we meet in the middle for a huge smooch and everyone cheers

alternately, you can call me baby, because I’m baby

my father’s Daddy, you can call me Mr. Ward

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson is soooooo good

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if student debt cancellation happened after i paid off my student loans, i would be happy, because im not a fucking shithead who demands that the entire world revolve around me and i can be happy for other people getting a fair deal

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Happy Easter (blasphemous) 

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Congratulations to the song "Sleepwalk" by Santo & Johnny for winning the Grammy Award for "Song that was supposed to be chill but only ever gets used ironically in trailers for scary movies"

youtube.com/watch?v=YBRCvVpknv

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Tumblr user exsanguinationforfunandprofit (that’s a mouthful) made this and I needed to share

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selfie with eye contact and fun max fact 

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anyone wanna do krokodil and eat coochie at jcpenney

I’ve been seeing a lot of content mastered in HDR from a certain streaming platform that displays people with flat contours and plastic faces. Encode pipeline tradeoffs? Lack of SDR trim metadata? Excessive noise reduction? Some combination of these?

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trans day of invincibility. trans people cannot die

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A real gambler knows that you can only win big if you understand that probability isn't in your favor but you're brave enough to bet anyway

that is to say: p is stored in the balls

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In 1987 I was living in Los Angeles with a serious Smoking problem. Anyway as luck would have it I ended up outside the ceremony for the 59th Academy Awards and I was repeatedly asking people if they “gotta light”. Then David Lynch looked at me and said out loud “Yeah i could use that” and then he just walked away. Anyway I’m going to sue that plagiarizing son of a Bitch! #EddieStories

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