Show more

I'm going on a diet. I'm only eating cum for the next 6 years

Returning me to sobriety with each attempt

Show thread

I've tried it twice and it sucked the first time so I thought I'd only smoke a fraction what I did the second time but that time sucked too

Show thread

oh, didn't realize it wouldn't auto-show a title. it's mario paint music.

Show thread

committing self-care by putting this on indefinitely

totally out of the loop, everyone is doing a cw for selfies with ec (eye contact I guess), is eye contact in pictures a thing to warn people against? Who is this cw for and why?

live boosted

if you like hot coffee, if you like iced coffee...boy howdy. boy howdy, are you gonna like this thing i came up with: room temperature coffee (because i forgot i had it)

rediscovering my passion for bringing value

I get what it signifies but I will never understand the expression "to feel one's oats(sp?)"

I will not Google it, and do not @ me to explain

as much as I'm stuck in it, I can see how the irony aesthetic is a sad product of having grown up in the 90s where being earnest meant certain death

live boosted

I am not even an advocate of like. A lot of handwashing or anything, by a chemistry standard I’m like a loose cannon of dangerous habits and attitudes. But seriously. Eating food off of the ground=usually fine, not washing your phone=really really gross.

honestly i can't remember teen dreams all my teenage feelings

lewd ? 

somehow using a sex toy to get off seems perfectly normal and good, but making love to an inanimate object seems like psychopath behavior to me

i stop smoking weed for about as long and now all the kids are vaping juuls in front of cops and buying it at the store. a lot changes fast

Show thread

doing research on "condoms". have they changed at all in the 5 years i haven't used them? do they not suck anymore?

imagining an alien race with very orderly methods of communication and empathy seeing us as disgusting, filthy beings who fling moods at each other

Show more

The social network of the future: No ads, no corporate surveillance, ethical design, and decentralization! Own your data with Mastodon!