lauren 💫 @laurenl@mastodon.xyz

Today the peak of comedy for me is people saying "oh word?" but replacing word with worm
"Oh worm????"

tooting from my commencement NICE
https://mastodon.xyz/media/FvnZ2SUKXkQEqXSOIao

Also I downloaded an app to track calories and it said i needed to eat only like 1400 and I said Fuck. To. That.

So far my completion of undergrad has allowed me to 1) get sick right before graduation 2) read 3) still be depressed amazingly

I wish you all the joy of getting to watch someone watch Star Wars for the first time and love it, it is so healing

hey guys just so you know avocados 🥑???? Good as hell and an excellent source of protein

sending all of you good job vibes, whether you're applying or not, so that you all get to do fulfilling work that doesn't bog you down and with people who are cool :)

Mastodon should make this the home screen for all instance bc we're all getting these fire toots off

Tuesday mood
https://mastodon.xyz/media/9UJaR0K4Bp-DB4fO1qo

I'm making tiramisu for no reason, someone add me to r/madlads because im just a wildcard

Monday Again??? A Problem but A Manageable One 👍

Trudeau is just bargain brand Lee Pace, like just stan for Lee Pace at least he doesn't approve the construction of oil pipelines or turn a blind eye to the deaths of indigenous ppl in the country he governs

hey is anyone available to shoot me in the face so I don't have to hear about how hot ppl think trudeau and macron are thanks ever so much

so today I found out that my practically married housemates are in fact fucking and not just super intimate....great thx

my two housemates are like super married and I'm so upset...where is my gay wife to be cute with...

my friend STEPPED IN THE PIE I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW YOU DO THAT
https://mastodon.xyz/media/KQBH82duHICc9SOqLTg

It's totally irrational but I thought I saw my shitty abusive ex even though it's next to impossible for her to be here, but even knowing that I'm still nervous as hell that she's here UGH

good morning happy birthday star wars