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Testing the waters out a bit on here, who should I be following? Looking for humor/comedy, tech, art stuff. Want to avoid politics, podcasts, redditors.

The only real difference between booze and pharmaceuticals is that patents didn’t exist when we started brewing beer.

Listening to ICP on a plane feels like a crime 😅

I love turbulence. Tempt god and get away with it.

I think I just figured out my life’s motto; Responsibly irresponsible.

The Dire Straights should remake “Money for Nothing”, but replace MTV with NFT, and adjust the lyrics accordingly.


everybody working less hard than me is a fat lazy b*tch and everyone working harder than me is a prescription methhead



just let people enjoy hating other people's enjoyment of things


There are two kinds of people: people who think Tropic Thunder us a brilliant parody of the Hollywood industrial complex, and people who hate it but have never actually seen it.

Arizona June 11-18th
Grease those cornholes, I’m swoopin in!

There has to be a dead shark hidden somewhere in the building because the common hallways smell like absolute fucking hell on earth.


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Having a GREAT TIME trying to book a fucking flight rn

Here is a fun quirk: if you reply to one of my tweets and it contains a word I have in my muted list, I won't be able to view it

I feel like Slipknot would be a kill-or-be-killed sort of situation, so I had to do what I had to do.

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Why are my pants options only ever high-waisted or EXTRA high-waisted?
Bitch, I'm 5'2" I cannot be wearing this shit!

It's so heartbreaking that we'd never be able to have something like a modern Lilith Fair because some fucking Reddit neckbeard would try to bomb it or shoot it up or something.

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