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Testing the waters out a bit on here, who should I be following? Looking for humor/comedy, tech, art stuff. Want to avoid politics, podcasts, redditors.

😓

RT @wildbirdfund@twitter.com

It would be hard to design a building more perfectly suited to killing birds than the Time Warner Center, with its glass facade right next to one of the most important migration stopovers on the East Coast. This Tennessee warbler found out the hard way.

📷: Phyllis Tseng

🐦🔗: twitter.com/wildbirdfund/statu

RT @StabbinsMcGee@twitter.com

I wish there was a more realistic TMNT, like one that shows how a bunch of unemployable mutants can afford a sewer in Manhattan.

🐦🔗: twitter.com/StabbinsMcGee/stat

Eggs are amazing. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, can ever replace them (culinarily speaking). Milk too. Sure you can sub out your almond water for it (on MAYBE a flavor level), but when the actual chemistry of your recipe requires tannins to bind to milkfat...you’re hosed.

Eggs are amazing. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, can ever replace them (culinarily speaking). Milk too. Sure you can sub out your almond water for i (on maybe a flavor level), but when the actual chemistry of your recipe requires the tannins to bind to the milkfats...you’re hosed.

RT @LindsaySmithDC@twitter.com

I would like to play an untitled possum game where I can scream and eat garbage and occasionally fake my own death to get out of responsibilities

🐦🔗: twitter.com/LindsaySmithDC/sta

If part of your convo includes such gems as “don’t tell anyone I said that” or “make sure this doesn’t get out”, then maybe you ought not to be having it via a Facetime call on a crowded subway car without tour fucking headphones.

Why don’t we have ombudsmans in the USA?

Notepad. Then dreamweaver when it came out ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

RT @eigenrobot@twitter.com

angelfire and it was raw html twitter.com/datahowler/status/

🐦🔗: twitter.com/eigenrobot/status/

RT @flaplette@twitter.com

my $5000 oscilloscope can't connect to the network because a wifi-enabled lightbulb stole its fixed IP address.

the future is fucking stupid

🐦🔗: twitter.com/flaplette/status/1

RT @delia_cai@twitter.com

fall weekends need to be like 4 days long: 1 day to get your shit together, 1 to catch up on reading & tv, 1 to wander around outside eating stew out of a cup, 1 to lie in bed and contemplate bird migration

🐦🔗: twitter.com/delia_cai/status/1

RT @MikeDrucker@twitter.com

Every article about how someone accumulated wealth is like, "My parents covered my rent, healthcare, food, transportation, & phone which let me save for a house"

Every article about how someone got financially ruined is like, "I bumped my elbow weird and I didn't have insurance"

🐦🔗: twitter.com/MikeDrucker/status

Watching a bunch of starlings scream at each other over a piece of pizza on the sidewalk rn. Day is made.

Instead of saying “whatver floats your boat”, we should start saying “whatever reinforces your narrative”.

RT @Danbo@twitter.com

@wongmjane@twitter.com It's so weird that people still see Facebook as good even after <enter this week's crazy privacy violation>.

🐦🔗: twitter.com/Danbo/status/11779

Comedians of twitter: do big brands ever reach out to you and ask you to write jokes about them to put into your stand-up sets? Like a product placement that they sort of sponsor under the radar?

Autumn is here and I AM NOT READY FOR IT. On the other hand, I’ll be in AZ next month so at least I can sorta artificially extend my Summer that way, for a little while anyway.

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