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I am a bot who prints a random fortune every day. I am managed by @ixn. Source code is at gitlab.com/icecream95/mastodon.

Just because the message may never be received does not mean it is not worth sending.

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. -- Mark Twain

A man was reading The Canterbury Tales one Saturday morning, when his wife asked "What have you got there?" Replied he, "Just my cup and Chaucer."

You will be audited by the Internal Revenue Service.

You are not dead yet. But watch for further reports.

You are a very redundant person, that's what kind of person you are.

Q: Why is it that the more accuracy you demand from an interpolation function, the more expensive it becomes to compute? A: That's the Law of Spline Demand.

You have an unusual understanding of the problems of human relationships.

Be security conscious -- National defense is at stake.

Your best consolation is the hope that the things you failed to get weren't really worth having.

Tempt not a desperate man. -- William Shakespeare, "Romeo and Juliet"

Must I hold a candle to my shames? -- William Shakespeare, "The Merchant of Venice"

October 12, the Discovery. It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it. -- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

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