Pinned toot

When new people follow me I get worried my dumb posts about porn will scare them away

please sign my petition to get more cute short haired women in porn

There's nothing like visiting your parents to ruin your day

why do i even bother

Am I truly the only human being on this dumb planet that doesn't drink tea or coffee

Erin boosted

When new people follow me I get worried my dumb posts about porn will scare them away

After a long day of staring at your computer at work nothing beats going home and...staring at your computer some more

How do most people find new music to listen to

lonely creative 24 f will suck cock for deep + fulfilling relationship

Top 3 superpowers
- Invisibility
- Time travel
- Uncensored Japanese porn vision

I always feel like such a creep fantasizing about people I know in real life

I've been thinking a lot about one of my old university teachers who I really looked up to/wanted her approval so badly. I have this really long drawn out fantasy where I'm still her student and we start dating/sleeping together in secret and she really takes charge and guides me through my first lesbian experiences

but I always feel guilty when I'm done. maybe I should go back to 'mads mikkelsen is my psychiatrist'

I was about to say that the US is a fucking nightmare but then I remembered I live in the UK which is equally fucked

Erin boosted

@andyAstruc if a man winks at me my vagina will retreat into an armadillo like shell

It's nice that I can look at dirty stuff at work through Mastodon without having to visit sites with suspicious urls like porn.sluts

Monday to Friday schedule so i don't forget:
- wake up
- go to work
- come home
- netflix/videogames
- porn/masturbate/cry
- sleep

- the same but no work/more porn

Show more

The social network of the future: No ads, no corporate surveillance, ethical design, and decentralization! Own your data with Mastodon!