tootenstein @emilyfong@mastodon.xyz

there's #catstodon but wheres #mastodog

snoop kills donaldturmp

@Twitter jk i could never i worked hard for those followers

*picks up pitchfork* i say we KILL thE BEAST! @Twitter

mastodon users in two weeks: my voice is hoarse from disuse. i havent slept in days. every time i close my eyes i dream of demons screaming TOOT! at me

me, a haggard old witch-like creature watching my follower count tick slowly up to 69: yesssss, come to meeeeeeee

i fucked up everybody he's actually trying to sell FLIGHTS

imagine star trek except william shatner just flies around trying to sell insurance

i want to make a preemptive move and ban pineapple on pizza discourse before it starts

#SPONSORED i'm lovin it

when is fav star gonna here how will i know about the number of faves on my toots in the most annoying way possible

this site has revealed that we are all truly just opportunistic meme vultures and i wouldnt have it any other way

federated tinder: asstodon

MASTODON CRUSHES THUS FAR:
- mr clean

*quits out of this website for 3 mins* https://mastodon.xyz/media/bov9tDjcWt8-UDI6R5E