**Manuela Malasaña** @Xibanya · Apr 07, 2018, 15:08

**Manuela Malasaña** @Xibanya · Apr 07, 2018, 15:08

Manuela Malasaña @Xibanya

Apr 07, 2018, 15:08

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i was sexually assaulted in college, two guys held me down and digitally penetrated me. contrary to stereotype, i dont get PTSD flashbacks to this at all. i ended up having a weird fixation with having my fiancé (now ex) recreate parts of the assault in bed, so it made me kinkier? somehow. it slightly bothers me that my assailants turned a terrifying a humiliating experience into something i want to do in bed that i never cared about before. fuckin mind control

**Manuela Malasaña** @Xibanya · 2018-04-07T15:13:16Z

Manuela Malasaña @Xibanya

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incidentally it was this experience that drove home to me just how much more physically powerful cismen are than ciswomen. it made me see men in a different light. ever since then in a bored moment i look at my cismale friends and coworkers and think “they could flip out and break my bones easily and i wouldnt be able to do shit.” i dont know if a lot of guys actively consider just how much more powerful their upper body strength is. but i do

Apr 07, 2018, 15:13 · Amaroq · 1 · 0

**Piggo** @MightyPork@dev.glitch.social · Apr 07, 2018, 15:25

**Piggo** @MightyPork@dev.glitch.social · Apr 07, 2018, 15:25

Apr 07, 2018, 15:25

Piggo @MightyPork@dev.glitch.social

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@Xibanya fucked up. Did they at least get expelled or something?

**Manuela Malasaña** @Xibanya · Apr 07, 2018, 15:34

**Manuela Malasaña** @Xibanya · Apr 07, 2018, 15:34

Apr 07, 2018, 15:34

Manuela Malasaña @Xibanya

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@MightyPork i didnt report it because i didnt want to confront them again or explain what happened

**Manuela Malasaña** @Xibanya · Apr 07, 2018, 15:35

**Manuela Malasaña** @Xibanya · Apr 07, 2018, 15:35

Apr 07, 2018, 15:35

Manuela Malasaña @Xibanya

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@MightyPork nowadays i totally would but i was 19 and scared

**Tiffany** @webinista@toot.cafe · Apr 07, 2018, 15:40

**Tiffany** @webinista@toot.cafe · Apr 07, 2018, 15:40

Apr 07, 2018, 15:40

Tiffany @webinista@toot.cafe

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@Xibanya I realized that this is a big part of why I continue to lift weights. It makes me feel like I'm in control of my body and can fight back if necessary.

**sean.h.huntley** @shuntley@octodon.social · May 03, 2018, 16:58

**sean.h.huntley** @shuntley@octodon.social · May 03, 2018, 16:58

May 03, 2018, 16:58

sean.h.huntley @shuntley@octodon.social

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@webinista @Xibanya

And (as a cismale) a big part of why I never will. I'm scared of being scary to anyone. My height is already geometrically imposing. But at the very least, I can remain as brittle as humanly possible.

**Manuela Malasaña** @Xibanya · May 04, 2018, 18:17

**Manuela Malasaña** @Xibanya · May 04, 2018, 18:17

May 04, 2018, 18:17

Manuela Malasaña @Xibanya

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@shuntley @webinista you should lift, bro. It’s good for you, regardless of any change to your appearance. You can communicate your non-scariness nonverbally