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Manuela Malasaña @Xibanya@mastodon.xyz

I really dislike spending time with my parents, who are perfectly fine people, and it bothers me that have no idea why. It certainly causes them a lot of pain.

when I got engaged the ring didn’t fit and he expected me to get it resized at my own expense

I got engaged in front of one of those games that’s whack-a-mole except with aliens bursting out of a spaceman which is basically visual poetry

sex in cishet relationships Show more

In the final months with my fiancé, when I got bored of sex I would lie motionless and sometimes sigh dramatically or make weird faces to see if my fiancé would ask what was wrong. He never did. I’m not sure what would be worse: that he never noticed or that he did notice but didn’t do anything

u ever have an email subscription you always delete/archive immediately but never route out of your inbox/unsubscribe because otherwise youll forget the sender exists?

I suddenly remembered how this guy I had a massive unrequited love for in college called me about two years ago to say he made a terrible mistake and that he always loved me and I wasn’t sure what to say because at that very moment I was in a new boyfriend’s bedroom

since I was 25 or so I’ve gotten heart palpitations in times of great stress. In my early 20s I did a lot of coke and I assumed the palpitations were from that so I didn’t want to see a doctor and get scolded. I was sometimes scared I would die but I accepted that. Recently my mom told me she started having heart palpitations in her mid 20s and suddenly I wanted to see a doctor, like I deserved to live more because it wasn’t my fault

‪today I learned that writing a character with realistic OCD makes one’s own real OCD less manageable the following day. 🤦‍♀️ it seems obvious in hindsight. but if my writing manages to twist anyone’s stomach then it’ll have been worth it. yess, yessss‬

me, looking at my friends with anxiety: jfc ya'll need some chill

me, not giving any fucks due to depression: jfc i need less chill

when i was planning my wedding i was constantly saying stuff like “i really hate this,” “this feels wrong,” “i dont want to get married,” and everyone was like “lol so typical” and then acted all stunned when i broke the engagement. society’s got fucked up ideas on marriage smdh

‪in a relationship you really do have to chop off a part of yourself and replace it with a part of your partner. If that person stops being in your life though, you better regrow some more self like a starfish or you’re in for a bad time. Course, the regrown part won’t be the same‬

my jam that starts on 4/20 has 69 entrants im so happy

It’s basically impossible for me to concentrate at work right now because I’m having an astonishingly painful cramp and it’s taking all I am to not visibly writhe around. Reflecting on how it’s easier to broadcast that on mastodon than feel OK telling my manager I want to go home

one nice thing about being single is i dont have to pretend to be happy anymore

‪peeps on twitter always talkin bout how theyre lonely and want friends meanwhile im over here having friends and loved ones contacting me constantly but i dont text back bc im trying to die alone‬

‪things i have done during sex:‬
‪* thought of the names of all the US presidents in chronological order‬
‪* thought of all the states and their capitals, in the order they joined the union‬
‪* imagined cracks and bumps in the ceiling as vertices of an imaginary mesh‬

tragedy is when i spend hours trying to make a shader do a thing and it still doesnt work right. comedy is when i fall into an open sewer and die

the last time i kissed him before i broke up with him i knew it would be the last time so i made sure to commit it to memory.

“you are the beauty of the world,” i told him. “the paragon of animals.”

he smiled, not understanding