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if you were a coach in a kid's sports movie, you would be...

@MrJimmy everyone wants to think they'd be the good guy coach, but I think I'd be the beloved coach's apathetic wife or something who winds up leading the team and making them do crimes or something and they all learn a valuable lesson at best, and being the evil couch is much easier

@BestGirlGrace
i love this story so far this could be a real movie

@MrJimmy either way: wide brimmed black hat with a veil and sunglasses, parasol or cigarette holder in hand at all times, the kids keep thinking I'm a vampire or Disney villain.

the climax of the movie is when my wife the regular coach is better in time for the big game, I show up wearing a team jersey (which I absolutely did Not want earlier in the movie), and blah blah blah they win the soccer.

@BestGirlGrace
okay, i'm adding this to my slate: Bad News Bears remake starring Grace, it's already looking real good

@MrJimmy also, when they win, the kids charge past regular coach and dump Gatorade on me, which I was not expecting. It's the feel-good movie of the year.

@BestGirlGrace @MrJimmy
either that or like loser groundskeeper that's too old to be hanging around children but somehow it's not weird in this movie

@tarzanboy @BestGirlGrace
They have to combine Dylan's knowledge of baseball with Grace's knowledge of fowl play to try and win the big game at the end

@MrJimmy @tarzanboy
"You've played a sport, right?"
"A completely different one, yes."
"Good. I'll teach them how to trip the other kids without getting noticed."

let me ruin this 

let me ruin this 

let me ruin this 

@MrJimmy i keep misreading this as "couch" and getting confuuuuuuuuused 🛋️ 😕

@gdkar
Are you the good guy couch or the bad guy couch tho? 🤔

@MrJimmy @gdkar

ohh i hate that evil couch with its slicked back hair and wide 80s tie!! it only cares about winning at any cost and getting pet hair on it!!

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