One thing about me is I'm always thinking up new baseball rules to make the game more exciting AND terrible
• the shortstop should be on stilts
• sand traps and water hazards in the outfield
• one player on each team is secretly trying to get the other team to win
• pinch hitting must be done by the team mascot
• if you hit a home run you have to play the rest of the game in a special hat that blows bubbles
• if you hit two home runs you have to play the rest of the game blindfolded, also you're wearing the bubble hat
@Louisa what if every player had to carry an egg in their pocket and if it breaks the other team gets a run?
Twitter link, sorry
An alleged Finnish baseball diamond with an outfield water hazard
There used to be a rule that if not enough of your players showed up to make a full team, you could draft someone from the audience.
(But if your player later showed up, you could not sub him in. You were stuck with the audience member the whole time.)
Every time I go to a ball game, I secretly hope that rule is still in effect.
@Louisa this is 100x more entertaining
source: used to work in sports thing, it sucked. one of the worst sports by a notable margin
every third game played on ice skates
if the game is tied after 9 innings, both teams are assessed three losses in the standings
bored umpires can declare a bonanza inning where there's a batter at each base and the pitcher can throw wherever
some bats are secretly piñatas and whoever eats the most candy when it breaks gets to wear a sparkly glove and MC Hammer pants
@DelphineUnseen lol it's fun! The line between real sports rules and fake ones seems arbitrary, why is stealing allowed?!
@Louisa everyone in the infield has a squishy ball and whenever a batter hits a foul ball with two strikes, they have to run for first without getting hit by infielders throwing balls at them
@Louisa Mutant League Baseball with spikes, bear traps, and rage virus fueled fans. Who are let out after the seventh inning stretch. Players left alive will be allowed to finish the game.
@Louisa look up Pesapallo, the national sport of Finland
and here's your water hazard https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=zDrLcPxSBRk
@Louisa I’m so glad I’m not the only person who does this. I do this with all sports. For golf, there are hawks and eagles who try to steal the balls and drop them in random places. For NASCAR races, one car drives backwards Mad Max style and tries to swipe other cars. It’d be such an awful improvement.
I'll bet not one of those so-called "professional" baseball players has made their own bats.
When I'm Commissioner of Baseball, I'll make that mandatory. No store-bought bats.
@Louisa @apLundell Yeah, but since these are the 1880s-1890s we’re talking about, some guys bunted/chopped *every* at-bat—and unless the batter was ridiculously slow, the only way to really defend against that was to move your basemen in so far that they became useless for their actual positions.
The original Orioles (now the Yankees) became famous for doing this (hence Baltimore chop), which is why every other team spent the decade calling them cheaters.
@Louisa this is the best! Thank you for my morning giggles.
This baseball fan with an appreciation for the absurd!
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