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Looking at weird AirBnBs 

Look at this place and then look at this disclaimer

Looking at weird AirBnBs 

Folks, I think we should rent this house and decorate it for Halloween and get arrested

Think how good that attic space would be

airbnb.com/rooms/21059343?adul

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Looking at weird AirBnBs 

@Louisa :blobcatglare: extremely sus

Looking at weird AirBnBs 

@finn my friends are looking for a place that might be nice for a wedding (in a few years), of course they want to be able to talk about ghosts! All my friends want haunted weddings!!

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@Louisa @finn "We have enjoyed this home for two generations and want to open our doors to you as well. This is NOT the infamous murder house in our city, I repeat it is NOT the murder house. NO ONE was brutally slashed to pieces here. There are NO human remains buried in the root cellar, NONE at ALL. Please DO NOT DIG in the backyard with a view of the lake. Those are DOG BONES, not HUMAN BONES."

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@breakfastgolem @finn [me, nudging my friend] see it's just dog bones, you're worrying over nothing

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@Louisa @breakfastgolem @finn “we are a normal family of three and we have lived in this house for three hundred years and have never seen any indication of ghosts”

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@Louisa what the fuck. The fun police

"We know our house looks haunted but unlike those other houses that are for real haunted, this isn't. Stop saying it's haunted, which is a real thing that happens to houses. We will call our ghost lawyers— I mean our human alive lawyers."

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@InternetEh I really wonder what they think the charge would be that they could bring against you

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@Louisa @InternetEh "Your honor, I call... my dead mother to the stand! (the jury gasps)"

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@breakfastgolem @Louisa they're using the power of their haunted house to stop people from saying their house is haunted

It's the position they didn't want to be in!

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@Louisa ...and we could have gotten away with it if it weren't for those meddling teens!

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@Louisa did we buy a house that looks like a cartoon haunted house? yes
are we renting rooms out for people to enjoy our cartoon haunted house? yes
are we going to allow them to actually enjoy it? no we will prosecute if necessary

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@Taweret they finally did it, Halloween is illegal

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@Louisa okay I am not a business genius but you are sitting in a pile of gold you absolute tools I would pay m o n e y to have a murder mystery dinner in this place!!!

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@Sissas right?! It's perfect!!

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@Sissas @Louisa

I know, right?

Actually, I kind of suspect this is some kind of reverse psychology marketing thing to deniably imply that this house is genuinely for real haunted.

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@suetanvil @Louisa this is exactly whta my partner said!!! I am definitely not a business genius

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@Louisa I looove this house!

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@deneb it's so cool! It's wasted on this family

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@Louisa @deneb oh man, that must be the worst neighborhood for Halloween... 👻

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@TQ @deneb disclaimer sign on the lawn: "do NOT tell us our house is perfect for Halloween, we will prosecute if necessary"

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@Louisa @deneb The TRUE horror.

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@Louisa sounds like something someone whose home is haunted would say :thinkin:

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@Louisa I've said this before but if your mansion or manor or whatever has a name or title, it's definitely fucking haunted. maybe it was an asylum at some point, or a mass ritual murder took place there, but some shit absolutely went down.

Looking at weird AirBnBs 

@radicalrobit lean into it! This is a great spooky murder house that's not actually falling apart so people won't catch a mildew disease when they stay!!

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@Louisa this house is without question haunted as shit

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@Thomas and it's so perfect for being haunted!!

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@Louisa like if you're already doing an AirBnB there you should also be renting it out for film and TV productions for a haunted house. You should be *advertising* murder mystery parties.

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@Louisa what id they're really afraid of ghosts and are afraid that someone will convince them?

Looking at weird AirBnBs 

@Thomas sounds like the perfect premise for a movie, filmed in the spooky house

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@Louisa They could get a "story by" credit so easily. Do they not want an IMDB page?!

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@Louisa it’s a tinkerbell situation then huh

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@alex holding an illegal seance in the AirBnB

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@Louisa my "ABSOLUTELY NOT HAUNTED" listing is raising many questions already answered by my "ABSOLUTELY NOT HAUNTED" listing

Looking at weird AirBnBs 

@Louisa it's so beautiful and this makes so so sad so much wasted potential 😩 also if they feel the need to point this shit out like that this house is definitely haunted lmao

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@deidara it MUST be, that's such a weird rule

Looking at weird AirBnBs 

@Louisa "Our house is not haunted. The moaning and rattling at night is in no way location-based. That is to say, members of the house are personally haunted, but it has nothing to do with the location itself. It's more of an Ebenezer Scrooge situation and we want to assure you that the hauntings will not be directed at you, at least not due to being guests in the house itself. For being patrons of ours, maybe, but that's not the house's fault."

Looking at weird AirBnBs 

@Colophonscrawl "If a woman all in white with no eyes asks you to come to the gazebo, simply say no thanks"

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@Louisa "Just to be clear, she was not involved in any accident on the premises and the koi pond next to the gazebo is only the resting place of algae, not bodies. She is a pest year-round in that her sockets frequently spawn non-native centipedes who are becoming an invasive species. Encouraging her constitutes a violation of house rules."

Looking at weird AirBnBs 

@Louisa this is mostly the isolation talking but i would like to throw a tremendous party there

Looking at weird AirBnBs 

@redoak @Louisa definitely nothing in that description that would make anybody _think_ it's haunted

Looking at weird AirBnBs 

@brennen @redoak 20 person capacity, but unlimited ghosts

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@Louisa ‘oh, my criminal record? Just one conviction, for throwing a ghost-themed party in a house that was definitely not haunted’

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@dreadpirateyarr the hiring manager hires me on the spot

re: Looking at weird AirBnBs 

@Louisa They must have several really bad experiences with idiot ghosts hunters.

re: Looking at weird AirBnBs 

@RC I was thinking they're religious in a way that makes the idea of ghosts very offensive to them (?) but this makes sense

Looking at weird AirBnBs 

@Louisa ok this is going to be awkward but i’ve been leaving ghosts i’m unable to care for at that house for years, i was under the impression that it was a sort of humane society for spirits and specters

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@mood Home for Wayward Ghosts

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@Juju a little TOO unhaunted

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@Louisa Gee, no idea why they would say that...

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@calculsoberic no further questions

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@Louisa I literally want this house, and I wouldn't mind a little haunting 😌

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