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throwing a molotov cocktail through a window of Barry Manilow's mansion and spray painting "Billy Joel 4 Eva" on his garage

Spoilery Game of Thrones question 

This is the first toot of the rest of my Mastodon account

This is the most controversial thing I’ll ever say 

twitter don,t read this 

🎶 I'm the bad goy might seduce your rab-bi 🎶

I spend so much time asking 'how are you?' I never took the time to ask 'WHY are you?'

the name's Fuck ManWolf, and I'm here to lose my glasses and fall down a ravine

To the tune of Smooth Operator:
🎶 Boob operator 🎶

Really excited for the next batch of cryptid accounts:

-iphone with flappy bird installed
-bigfoot but gayer
-commercially viable fusion energy
-the piss tape
-The City of Marfa, TX

Halo "double kill" voice guy voice:
Double negative

Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth – its pasteurized before you even see it

Man, I really love my furniture... me and my recliner go way back.

Why can't a bicycle stand on its own? It's two-tired.

When do doctors get angry? When they run out of patients.

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