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I don't drink much. I can enjoy the relaxation from a drink, rarely have more than one, but I got _really_ drunk once and spent the night in a stranger's house (friend of a friend) and I 100% did not like the feeling of not being in total control, and do not ever want to be that drunk again.

Then I read about people who _forget_ what they did when they get that drunk, and I just can't imagine. That would freak me out and think I'd swear off drinking forever.

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alcohol mention 

@CarlCravens blackouts (via alcohol or otherwise ; im familiar with both) are wild stuff initially but... you kinda get used to it as a concept

think of it like sleepwalking and its way easier to get your head around

that said : please dont tempt this fate, the post-black out is one of the most important inflection points in that persons life and itll go 'fine/good' or horribly sideways on everyone involved

alcohol mention 

@kemonine I once passed out from dehydration from illness... middle of the night, I was headed to the bathroom and just collapsed. I have no idea how long I was face-down in the carpet before I woke up.

That feeling of no control, feeling my body slumping to the floor but being unable to do anything, a feeling almost like I was leaving my body as I lost consciousness on the way down... totally not my thing. 😆

Not the same, but drinking gives me the same kind of anxiety.

alcohol mention 

@CarlCravens yep!

that was how my 2 panic attack induced blackouts went and semi-similar to my grayout (i have little pockets of missing memories from alcohol but not full on blackout)

its 100% not my jam at all either

alcohol mention 

@CarlCravens grayout is not a proper term ; i just refuse to acknowledge i had something like 12 mini blackouts one night

id rather that be a singlular event for my own sanity 😉

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