surfin dog @007@mastodon.xyz

imagine if you just ejaculated one enormous sperm

"average person cums twice a week" factoid actualy just statistical error. average person doesn't cum at all. Spunky Georg, who lives in cave & blasts ropes over 10,000 times a day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

"get some perspective!" i yell, tiny, or very far away

wearing a shock collar that zaps me whenever i think of a good post

blasting vanessa carlton as i run pedestrians over making my way downtown

fine i'll kiss my own ass

scheduling soup time 😎

that junk rat post made me think about all the biker mice from mars porn i've seen

soup no. 5

this is too many soups

himbo. no 5

double-fisting my tiny soup glasses, going absolutely fucking wild with the pea and ham

junk rat, the rat with the "you know" 😏

the soup of the day is: soups

thanks hanny, very kind

might buy a couple bottles of wine and get absolutely battered by myself

when th pingy sticks out