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"average person cums twice a week" factoid actualy just statistical error. average person doesn't cum at all. Spunky Georg, who lives in cave & blasts ropes over 10,000 times a day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

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"get some perspective!" i yell, tiny, or very far away

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wearing a shock collar that zaps me whenever i think of a good post

these days it's easier to come out as gay than a gamer 😔

wanted: jazz musicians in search of a tune

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Life is a long series of emotional breakdowns in one's car

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UK pol, important charity stuff + link 

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I have found that plugging in a USB mouse and moving it around while the disc is being written with a USB CD writer makes the sound “edgier” and gives an unnatural hardness and grain to cymbals.
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book burning is too involved so instead I'm going to cat epubs to /dev/null
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What year did you first get the internet?

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@selontheweb @bryn @007 that's it, I'm quitting my job at the boop factory. It's clear our competitors will soon pit us out of business

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yer pal alex just flicked his eyes to the top right of a paperback book he was reading to check the time in the book's "menu bar"

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you can prise my jelq' cream from my warm moist hands!

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NEVER STOP THE HUSTLE. NEVER STOP THE GRIND. JUST BOUGHT THIS $20,000 ROLEX. WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE??? 💰🤑⌚

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sir, I regret to inform you that your actions were extremely valid, and that I am left with no choice... but to stan

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